How much fun can you have in a wheelchair?

It all depends on who's driving!

In true idiot girl fashion I did a full Tsukahara with a half twist in the shower and mangled my foot. After getting stitched up, drugged up and recovering my crutches from Jeff, with whom we have an injury timeshare, I promptly went home and did the e-mail version of drunk dialing. I sent a lovely graphic photo of the aforementioned mangled foot to my in-law family with the caption "Five stitches in the foot Bitches!" and went to bed. This left my poor spouse to host the subsequent Q&A session. Lucky for me they all have an excellent sense of humor which is why I love them so.

So now off my bike until further notice, I was going crazy and could feel my fat cells chuckling with glee over their new expansion program now that the zoning ordinances had been temporarily lifted. And what goes better with bad, trashy TV when you're stuck in the barcalounger than junk food?

Dave decided to take me to the Phoenix Art Museum and drive me around in the wheelchair for the afternoon. They offered me a Hoveround which I assured the guard was not a wise move on his part so I got the basic model. We navigated through shoals of field tripping gradeschoolers, jaws agape at the decommissioned chubby middle aged woman sending out mental sonar waves of "touch my foot and die horribly" ahead of her.

We found a ramp on the 2nd floor and Dave asked "where do you think this goes?" "Down?" I postulated slightly irritably, sensing with dread what was about to happen. "Hang on!" he whispered gleefully in my ear and he hopped on the back of the chair and off we zoomed down the ramp with him braking Fred Flintstone style toward a block glass wall. We came to a stop inches from the wall only to encounter a second ramp to the first level. OOOOOOHHHH NOOOOOOOOO!!! We flew down the rest of the way and arrived at the bottom with me giggling, cursing and disheveled. We were lucky we didn't get booted out for using the museum as a skate park.

Then I flew to Denver for a friend reunion. We went to see the Denver Botanical Gardens and my wonderful girlfriends spent the afternoon pushing me around in the wheelchair. We went up ramps, off road, over flagstones all the time giggling and snorting and making bad driver jokes. I trust them with my life, but I bought lunch just in case so they would feel extra guilty if they decided to dunk me in the lily pond.